21.01.2020 Woo
I hate myself
This isn't meant to promote eating disorders, I'm just posting things here as a little diary for myself to look back on if I ever recover or for when I feel like bingeing and need to be reminded how shitty it can make me feel. If this sort of stuff can trigger you, click off, do something else you enjoy. Don't do what I do please, it can and probably will damage your health.
I tried to purge three times in the video but it wasn't said when apart from one of them. I ate all the chocolate, purged quite a bit. After the noodles I tried to purge again but nothing came out. Then when I came one after buying everything and being all secretive (ninja), I made pasta with vegan butter and ate that then purged a bit. Not a lot came out and then my mother got home so I couldn't Purge anymore and it made me have the worst breakdown of the day that lasted about an hour and a half. I didn't know who to go to but basically ended up venting to two or three different people and still feel like crap. Just when I thought I was in a stable sad state, I weighed myself and had another breakdown at half one in the morning but I'm trying to be productive aka making and posting this video. Trying to avoid my problems yknow?
Music: Blue window
Musician: Jef
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